What is OK to wear to court?

So I went to court today, and as always when I go to court, I learned a few new things.  However, unless you are a first-year litigation attorney, (and probably even then), I can literally hear your eyes glazing over at the prospect of a blog post about ex parte applications, the filing window, and oral arguments.  So, I’ll spare you.

Instead, I will comment on this pressing question — what the hell are some people wearing to court these days??  I think this basically every time I go to court, but today I had even more time than normal to people-watch.  The worst are the inappropriately-dressed lawyers, since they, more so than jurors or other “laypeople,” should know better….but there are some real gems among the regular folk, too.

Now, just to be clear, I am not saying that I am the pinnacle of fashion when I go to court.  To the contrary, today I felt particularly frumpy in a beige pantsuit.  If someone would have called me “ma’am” today, it may have been forgivable.  But there is a vast difference between “frumpy” and “inappropriate,” my friends!  Yes, I guess I am getting old.  *Sigh*.

Court fashion victims of the day:

1)  Woman in a white skirt suit made out of linen (very wrinkled), with her (also white) slip showing and white leather flats.  I don’t really know what to say about that, just visualize.  To her credit, from the conversation I overheard she was having, she is a summer associate, so I’m sure she’ll learn.

2)  Woman in a skin tight, off the shoulder hot pink top and black miniskirt.  Ok, so this lady was not a lawyer, but c’mon.  If you’re going to court, please at least wear something that is long enough that I don’t have to shield my eyes to avoid seeing your see you next Tuesday. 

3)  Woman in a skin-tight, sleeveless, bright yellow dress and stiletto heels.  Again, not a lawyer, but are you going to court or going flamenco dancing?

4)  And the coup de grace–by a man, no less.  Boring black suit, boring black tie, boring white shirt, boring black leather shoes…and a trucker hat with the picture of a beaver on it from Urban Outfitters.  (I know it’s from there because I have the same hat, I admit.  However, I have never once been tempted to wear it to the courthouse!)  Ok, dude, so your hair looked pretty gnarly under there, but maybe try shower in lieu of trucker cap next time?  Thanks. 

Love,

The Fashion Police 

[NOTE:  I wish I could put up a picture of the hat — maybe I’ll have to go home and photograph it.  My friend T. has the one with a picture of a cat and my friend D. has the one with a picture of a rooster].