Feeling Thankful

It’s Sunday evening, dear readers, I am back in my apartment after spending the Thanksgiving weekend up in Oregon, and I hope you all had as lovely of a weekend as I did. It was very relaxing, save the few hours of work I did on Saturday — lots of eating, watching football (somehow, despite having a college-football-player father, I never understood football, much less actually liked it, but now, 27 years later, I genuinely enjoy watching it), shopping, and more eating. I even got to play mini golf with my 92 year old grandpa, which is something we used to do together all the time when I was growing up. (I beat him, but he demanded a rematch over Christmas.) And I got to meet the guy that my mom has been wanting to set me up with (in a group, and he has no idea). I’ll give her this – he was actually quite cute and outgoing. One small hitch, though: he lives in Oregon. I know I haven’t had much luck with L.A. guys of late, but I think it’s a little soon to start dating out-of-state.

As the plane began its descent into L.A. this evening, I was overcome with this intense sense of well-being and contentment. I felt happy and excited, but not about anything in particular — getting back to my apartment, to Noodles, to the week ahead. And that’s when it struck me: I am not just fine with my life as it is, I am affirmatively joyful. And not because some guy called me or emailed me or asked me out (which was so much my focus for the past year), but because I am so incredibly blessed. I have an amazing family, wonderful friends, a great apartment, a good job. I’m really so lucky.

More to come, dear readers, but for now, I must get some shut eye. Have a happy Monday!

Let’s See How Far We’ve Come

A quick aside, dear readers, before I get into the meat of this post– I have noticed that my posts that use song lyrics seem to get a lot more hits than the other ones. I guess it’s sort of cheating…all these unsuspecting fans of a certain song (tonight, Matchbox Twenty’s latest — yes I listen to Star 98.7, what’s it to you?) coming to look for the lyrics of the song and instead they stumble upon Little Miss Law’s latest ramblings. Welcome, Rob Thomas fans, welcome. Take off your shoes and make yourselves at home.

Anyway, the real topic of this post has been inspired by the trip I’m about to make up to see my family for Thanksgiving. Even though I graduated from high school and moved away close to 10 years ago, whenever I go home for the holidays I feel like I’ve been magically transported back to 1998 or earlier, sleeping in my old room, looking through old photos, seeing old friends, and just having general flashbacks to how it felt to be the angsty, teenaged version of Little Miss Law.

So, how far have I come in the past 10 years? In some ways, I’m definitely not the adult that I expected to be. If you had asked 17-year-old LML what she saw her 27-year-old self doing, I guarantee I would have envisioned myself married, maybe with a child, living in a house in the ‘burbs. I would have said that 27 year old me was certainly either a teacher or a social worker, certainly using my Spanish, probably living in Oregon. If someone had looked into a crystal ball and told me that I’d be a lawyer living in Los Angeles, working for a corporate law firm, I would have scoffed. That was so far afield of what I could have envisioned. Not to mention, if you had told me that I wouldn’t meet the love of my life in college, I think I would have been crushed. (Actually, I thought that my high school boyfriend was the one well into my freshman year of college.)

All through college and even in law school, whenever I’d go back up and see my friends, I felt the need to bring my cutest clothes, dress trendy, prove that I’d come out of my semi-nerdy shell from high school. Now I don’t do that anymore. First of all, let’s be honest, I’m still a little nerdy and not incredibly stylish. Also, I think I’m finally at a point where I can say that I’m happy with who I am, and I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

The true test of that will be my 10 year high school reunion, coming up in ’08. For a while I was thinking that I wouldn’t want to go because everyone else would be married with kids. The last thing I would want, I thought, was for people to look at me with pity because I’m single. Then a lightbulb went on. First of all, as I said, I’m very peaceful with my life. Also, everyone has their own neuroses. Some people will be worried about being single, some people might be divorced; some will be unhappy at their jobs; some will have gained weight since high school; and on and on. And I’m sure that everyone will be too busy either thinking about themselves, or enjoying catching up, to be judging the other people. In fact, at my 5 year college reunion people were really impressed that I’m a lawyer, which I found funny (since almost everyone I know these days is a lawyer, it just seems so unremarkable to me) , but I bet I’d get a similar reaction at my high school reunion.

I’d love to let go of all the insecurities and neuroses of the 17-year old LML…but I’d also like to hold onto parts of her. The innocent, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed part. The undyingly optimistic and romantic part. Maybe it’s getting older, maybe it’s the last 10 years of experiences, maybe it’s the logic that comes with practicing law…but those parts can feel hard to hold onto sometimes.

At any rate, with that navel gazing I will wish my dear readers good night and Happy Thanksgiving!

PS. Since one of my most loyal readers (ahem, Mom) complained to me the other day that I tend to leave my readers hanging, I should share that I met my cyber-crush, and yes, he translates quite nicely in real life. 🙂 More later…

Leaving Los Angeles

Today has been one of those glorious fall days in L.A. Sunny, warm, with a cool breeze, everything washed in a soft glow. I walked up to the corner coffee shop to get an iced chai, and walking back down my street I felt peaceful and calm….a feeling that has been increasingly rare these days.

At the same time, I was hit with an overwhelming feeling: I’m going to leave Los Angeles.

Just as my mom suggested, I have been pondering what I want my life to look like. And what does my ideal life look like? Well … let’s just say, a lot quieter than my current one. Less driving, less stress, less intensity. More tranquility, more being outdoors, more greenery, maybe my own little house with a yard and a dog.

Crazy? Perhaps.

It’s interesting because whenever I have imagined moving, I have always pictured moving to another city. I’ve felt that I’m so accustomed to city life that I would never want to leave it. I’ve loved the constant hustle and bustle, the endless restaurants and bars and hotspots, always new things to do and new people to meet.

But maybe that, exactly that, is part of what I’m hoping to leave behind.

Or maybe I really would get stir crazy in a small town.

When I think of making a big life change, the number one thing that distresses me is not so much leaving my job — that would be hard and I love the people there, but there will be other jobs — but I can’t imagine leaving my friends. I know that as people get older, friendships change. But the people who have become my friends in L.A. are more than my friends; they’re my family when my own flesh-and-blood family is a state away. And what if my fantasy of starting over somewhere new would, in reality, be an incredibly lonely mistake?

My best chlldhood friend, M., has always followed her heart and her dreams. She started in Oregon like me; spent some time in Colorado; back to Oregon; San Francisco; New York for a few years, working as a restaurant hostess and then a legal secretary while pursuing an acting career; New Mexico; and now she is moving to England with her new husband. She has had, of course, her fair share of ups and downs, but she has lived such an interesting, passionate and varied life. Sometimes I wonder — should I take a page out of her book and dive headfirst into a life change, or am I too eminently practical for something like that?

I’m off to get ready for my friend D.’s big gala event tonight. Till next time, dear readers, the soul searching continues!

Little Miss Law Takes a Breath

There’s nothing quite like going from being hideously, all-consumingly, mind-numbingly busy at work to finally catching a breath and having some free time. After 2 straight weeks of intense hours and stress, things have finally calmed down and it feels just miraculous. Tonight I came home, put on my PJs, cooked some ravioli, watched some mindless TV (“You are still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model!”) and talked on the phone. When I am busy, I tend to be very bad at keeping in touch (unless you are on Gmail chat – ha ha) so it feels very very nice to be able to reconnect with my friends.

So how are things looking in the world of Little Miss Law now that the dust has settled? Quite nice, actually. My parents came down to visit this past weekend and we had a really enjoyable time, laying by their hotel pool, putting my 42′ TV to use, and strolling around on the Santa Monica Pier. And of course, lots of eating. It’s always hard to cram our time together into just a couple of days, and I know that we would all prefer to live in the same city so that we could just have lunch or dinner together on a regular basis. But for now, it is what it is: email, phone calls and occasional visits. And I am thankful that we have remained so close despite the distance.

I also realize that I haven’t written anything recently about my furry life partner, Noodles. For the past few months, we have been getting along swimmingly and living in domestic bliss. This weekend, with my parents in town, he got a special treat. A couple of months ago, I mentioned to my mom that she and Dad shouldn’t be too disappointed if Noodles winds up being their only “grandchild.” Well, my parents took this comment quite seriously and spent a good deal of time in my apartment, brushing Noodles and generally doting on him, much to his great pleasure. Then they informed me that, loving “grandparents” that they are, they wanted to take me to Petco to buy a toy for their furry grandson. We went and picked out the perfect little structure – not too big, but tall enough for Noodles to sit on and look out the sliding door at the Hollywood Hills. Sure enough, he is sitting on it and admiring the view of the Hills as we speak.

(Yes, I do realize that this adds another giant mark to the “crazy cat lady” tally. So sue me.)

Yesterday, much to my amusement, I got an email from A., who apparently has now designated me as his social coordinator for him to hang out with my co workers (his former co workers). His email said, “Interested in setting up a drinks this week? I want to see people.” Anyway, I am an awesome social coordinator when I have the time to be, and so I already rallied a good group of people. My co workers are some of my favorite people, but it’s often hard to motvate people to all get together, so I’m happy whenever we do. It’s also just so nice to be back in touch with A. He and I were such good friends before we ever dated, and he was my 2nd best confidant at work. During the few months that he and I weren’t talking, I often had stories about work etc. that I wanted to tell him but I couldn’t contact him. Now that we are back in touch, even though we only talk every few weeks, I feel like that very particular friend-space he occupied in my life has been filled again, and I like that.

I have a lot more I can write about, since I have been delinquent in my blogging, but for now, dear readers, it’s bedtime . . .

Little Miss Law Comes Home

I must say, there is nothing better than traveling, and then there is nothing better than coming home to your own apartment and sleeping in your own bed.  Aaaahhh. 

I wasn’t quite ready to leave Maui yesterday morning — I was wishing I could have a couple more days of vacation — but after a 5 + hour flight, an hour waiting at LAX for my bag, and a taxicab ride, I was the happiest girl in the world when I finally turned my key in the lock to my front door and my legs were encircled by a meowing Noodles.  (He was so happy to see me, in fact, that he followed me around like a puppy all evening; started meowing at 4:30 a.m., and didn’t stop meowing, even after I fed him, until 7:30 a.m., when I finally pulled myself, bleary eyed, out of bed and started getting ready for work.)

At any rate, it was a fantastic vacation.  The weather was perfect:  mostly hot and sunny, with some brief periods of luscious tropical rain.  The balcony of our suite overlooked the well-landscaped grounds, the pool area and, beyond that, the ocean.  I slept on a Murphy bed in the living room, next to the balcony, with the sliding glass door open, so every morning when I woke up as the sun rose, I would turn over in bed and look out at the water.   What a way to start the day. 

Our days were full of a good mix of exploring, eating and lounging — my three favorite things to do on vacation.  We ate some amazing food, including to-die-for pork pot roast and some excellent seafood.  We went to the Maui Ocean Center aquarium, which was really neat; snorkeled and swam, and then ate dinner, at Napili Bay; took a submarine ride; shopped; and had lots of pool time.  The highlight of my trip, though, was a 1/2 day snorkel trip out to Turtle Town and Molokini.  There is nothing I have experienced that is more tranquil than snorkeling, surrounded by fish, feeling my body weightless and suspended.  We saw so many fish at Molokini, it was like swimming in an aquarium.  Truly amazing.

It was also great to spend time with Mom & Dad and our family friends.  We haven’t taken a family vacation in a long time, so it was a really special treat.

Finally, I got in some reading, as I had hoped.  I took with me the three books that I mentioned in my last post, and then I ended up buying a book at LAX (because I had packed the other 3 in my suitcase): Back to Wando Passo, by David Payne.   It took me a bit to get into it, but once I did I was hooked.  I’m sure my parents had a flashback to when I was an avid reader in elementary school and they couldn’t get me to put down a book long enough to have dinner!  Payne is an extraordinary writer, and the book is quite gripping.  Using fantasy elements, it weaves two dramatic love stories, one from the present day and one from the Civil War period, which both took place at Wando Passo, an old rice plantation in South Carolina.  Payne must have done an incredible amount of research — about the Civil War, plantation life in the South, race relations, Cuban mysticism and witchcraft, blues music, and on and on — because the novel is so vivid, descriptive, and most of all accurate.  If you are willing to suspend disbelief and lose yourself in this book, I recommend it.

I also read a lighter, summer beach read — The Guy Not Taken, a collection of short stories by Jennifer Weiner (who I love — she also wrote Good in Bed and In Her Shoes).  The stories were funny, sad and genuine, and it’s an extremely quick read.

Well, dear readers, I must go collect my laundry and head to bed. On Friday I am off to my next adventure — a bachelorette party in Vegas — and I’m sure that more stories will come from that! (Though if the old Vegas adage applies, I may not be able to write about it…)

Heading “Home”

Today is my last day up with the family before I return to L.A. this evening. It’s funny because whenever I talk to my parents about coming up to visit them, I always refer to it as coming “home” – but in reality, this isn’t my home anymore, and hasn’t been in many years, so tonight will be the real trip home!

I must say, my trip has gone a little too fast. Yesterday I felt more peaceful than I have in a long time. We had a great day — went to the Saturday Market, an outdoor street fair with local artesans, food stands, and a Farmer’s Market; went to dinner at a Japanese teppanyaki restaurant; and spent the evening playing games and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm with our family friends. It is so quiet and dark here at night that I sleep incredibly deeply and wake up feeling so refreshed. if I had known that my big case were going to settle, I probably would have planned to stay here till the 4th of July. L.A. is a lot of things, and I haven’t found any city I would prefer to live in, but it is hardly a serene place to live. When I come back here, I remember that in my heart of hearts, I am a small town Oregon girl, and I need to honor that part of myself.

Then again, my “real” life is in L.A. and it will be nice to get back to it. Noodles, don’t cry, I’m coming home!!

I’m off for a final meal up here, at my favorite brunch spot that we’ve been going to since I was a child. More from L.A. tomorrow!

PS. While at the Saturday Market I bought a framed black and white photograph from a local photographer, James Guay. His work is really incredible, check him out.

Leavin’ on a Jet Plane

Hurrah!  I have survived this rollercoaster week (Note: the settlement fell through again, but we got an extension on our motion, so hopefully the settlement will REALLY happen in the meantime) and in a couple of short hours I will be heading down to LAX to fly far, far away!!  (Ok, just a state away.  But that’s far enough, for now.)

I am looking forward to a fabulous weekend of seeing my family and maybe some of my high school friends, eating, sleeping, and all around slothfulness.  I swear, every time I go up there, I go to bed at 10 pm, wake up late, and then take an afternoon nap on the couch.  There is some kind of sedative in the water, I think (it definitely can’t be that I’m lazy!  Who, moi?).   And of course, I will make some time for shopping.  The lack of sales tax is dangerous, I racked up quite the bill at White House, Black Market last time. 

More tales of my travels to come….

But my mom thinks I’m cool!

Since I am going out tonight (yay Friday), I thought I would take a minute out from my workday to write a quick blog for all of my faithful readers out there (hi, Mom and Dad).   Shhh….don’t tell my boss.

As it turns out, my parents are indeed the biggest fans of my blog to date!  Mom says that it “reminds [her] of both Calista Flockhart’s attorney character (AllyMcBeal–but for the record, LittleMissLaw does NOT wear miniskirts to the office) and the cartoon character Cathy.”  I actually take this as a great compliment because I know that what Mom is trying to say is that I’m funny.  Right?  (Or I am a neurotic, cartoonish attorney.)  Dad says “It is great that you have an outlet for your wit, wisdom (and weirdness.)”  Again, this is a huge compliment…it’s OK if he calls me weird because I owe my incredibly corny, punny sense of humor to my dad (much to Mom’s chagrin).  On that note, let me tell you my dad’s favorite joke from when I was a child:

Dad:  “So I was walking down the street today and I saw a mattababy walking towards me.”

LittleMissLaw: “What’s a mattababy?”

Dad:  “Nothing, whatsa matta with you?”

That explains a lot, doesn’t it?

Anyway, it comes as no great surprise that my parents are chairs of the LittleMissLaw Fan Club, since these are the same people who told me I was pretty even when I was 10 years old, 5’7″, all gangly legs and arms, with huge plastic framed glasses and braces.  Very sweet, but only slightly damaging to their credibility.

I know you guys are reading this.  I love you.

Stay tuned for more tidbits this weekend.  On Sunday I am going on an early morning hike with 30 people from my firm, and I get to drive the hiring partner all the way up to the hiking location in Topanga Canyon.  If this doesn’t create at least one good blog post, I will be sorely disappointed.