The Return of Little Miss Law

Hello, old friends!

As those of you who used to read this blog may recall, I stopped posting 3+ years ago.  I started a new blog, then another, until I gave up having a blog altogether.  I decided at that time that it had been wonderful and entertaining and therapeutic, but that I was done with sharing personal details of my life and that it was just too time consuming anyway.  A lot of wonderful things have happened in the past 3 years, which I will share in a moment.  But one thing hasn’t changed in that time – I still love to write, and I still don’t have an outlet that quite fulfills my need to write the way this blog did.  So after some consideration, I’m back!

So here’s the life of Little Miss Law over the past 3 years, in a nutshell (and yes,  just because I can never resist: “Help!  How do I get out of this nutshell?”)

1.  After many months of being in a funk and not feeling like myself, in 2008 I started seeing a therapist, who I saw for over a year.  I had always been reluctant about therapy, but she was terrific and it really helped bring me back to feeling…well, like me.

2. After many, many first and second dates with various eHarmony, Match, etc prospects that went nowhere, I met an amazing guy, who we’ll call Mr. Law, through mutual friends in September 2008.  (He’s a litigator like me, at a small firm.)  Words don’t suffice to describe this, but he is everything I’ve always been looking for.  We hit it off and our relationship took off quickly.  In May 2010 we got engaged and we’re getting married in July!  (Yes, this blog is likely to contain many wedding-related posts.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you!)

3. After looking at 60-70 houses starting in January 2010, in September Mr. Law and I bought our 1st house, a 98-year-old Craftsman in the Hancock Park neighborhood of Los Angeles.  We both fell in love the first time we saw it and, even though homeownership can be daunting and scary, not a day goes by that we don’t comment how lucky we are to have found a place that is so perfect for us.

And now for the things that haven’t changed:

4.  The infamous Noodles is still around (in fact, he is sitting partially on my arm as I write this!)  He has mellowed out substantially since the days of the vicious attacks, and he and Mr. Law have even grown to love each other.

5.  I’m still at the same firm practicing litigation, and now more than ever (as a 6th year associate) I feel like I’m at a crossroads where I need to decide where to go from here.  (More on this to come too.)

6.  My same friends who I mentioned previously on the blog are all still very much in the picture and, in most cases, will be in my wedding.  But those friends are also almost all married and some have kids or kids on the way.  Three years has definitely caused a huge shift in that regard!

This is a short post, but I promise you, dear readers (if I have any now), to make my blogging regular again and not leave you hanging for another 3 years!

Till next time,

LML

We have changed but we’re still the same

Today, dear readers, I got an email from my ex-fiance for the first time in about 6 months. Last time we emailed it was because I was thinking about getting rid of Noodles after his vicious attacks. (Now, as Noodles sits on the couch next to me, purring sweetly, I think how sad it’d be if I had given up on him!) Anyway, since it had been so long without communication, the email came as a surprise.

It was a very sweet email…basically saying “Happy Holidays” and asking how things have been. At the end he wrote, “i know i have been a little distant and that is totally my fault, sorry. i just need some time to clear the head, and get my life in order.” I totally understand that sentiment, and it’s precisely why I was letting things breathe and not reaching out to him via email anymore. After I suggested that we meet for coffee and he said it was too soon, I realized – duh! – that it really was too soon. Then when the last guy I dated broke up with me, and I had such a hard time when he would email me because I would have false hope, I realized that I wasn’t doing my ex any favors by emailing him. If anything, I was probably just making it worse. I decided that I would just stop, and that when he felt ready he could contact me again.

And now he has. It’s strange because on the one hand I thought of a million things I could tell him. We dated for 3 years, so he knows all my friends and family, and so I have over a year’s worth of stories and engagements and gossip that I could share with him. But I know that sharing all those things with him, when he’s not really part of my world or my circle anymore (aside from a couple of my friends he has stayed friends with) would also be bittersweet. I certainly feel that way sometimes…our mutual friend let it slip a few weeks ago that my ex’s younger brother got engaged, and my stomach sank; partly because I loved his family and sometimes I miss being part of that, and partly because I can just imagine how it feels for my ex to be watching his brother on the verge of getting married.

So on the one hand, I really like that we’re back in contact. On the other hand, I don’t know if we’ll ever get past this superficial chit-chat and really be friends. I suppose only time will tell. As I was writing my reply email to him, the song “Cool” by Gwen Stefani came on. “And it’s such a miracle that you and me are still good friends/ After all that we’ve been through/ I know we’re cool…”

I love that song because it’s so full of hope and possibility: you can think that you’ll never get over someone, but eventually you’ll both meet someone new, and it’ll all be “cool”. (I also love the video.)

I do believe that people can be friends with their exes, in some instances. But with a broken engagement, it seems impossible. We went from having decided to spend the rest of our lives together, to not even being in each others’ lives. Can there be a happy medium? How could we ever look at each others’ significant other and not think, “That should have been me?”

**************************
Gwen Stefani – “Cool”

It’s hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It’s good to see you now with someone else
And it’s such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we’ve been through
I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown, oh
We have changed but we’re still the same
After all that we’ve been through
I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

Yeah, I know we’re cool

And I’ll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we’re hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we’ve been
I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

C-cool, I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

My cat saved my life.

Ok, so that may be a bit dramatic. Noodles didn’t literally save my life. He’s not Lassie or anything. If I fell down a well (or, you know, slipped in the shower, the apartment-life version of falling down the well) I don’t have much confidence that he would run and find someone to save me. (First of all, how would he get out of the apartment? But I digress.)

So what happened is this. I had an 8:30 am court appearance in Riverside…65 miles from my apartment which in L.A. traffic could take forever. I set my alarm on my cell phone to 4:45 am, to allow myself to shower, get ready (in my slow moving way) and get gas before heading out at 6 am. I forced myself to go to sleep at 10 pm.

Several hours later I was dead asleep when I was awakened by the sound of meowing. Loud meowing. Noodles was meowing his pretty little head off. I rolled over sleepily to check the time on my phone and discovered that my phone was off! I leapt out of bed, heart racing, and ran to the kitchen to check the time. I was sure that I’d see it was already 6 am and I’d be screwed.

What time was it? That’s right — 4:45 a.m. on the nose. Noodles was officially the hero of the morning. I have never been so grateful to be woken by Noodles at the crack of dawn.

That was actually the most eventful part of my day…court went well, the day went by peacefully, and now I am sitting with my hero at my side and watching the season finale of The Hills. (Can I just mention how envious I am of Lauren and Whitney going to Paris??)

On a final note before I turn to my Netflix, thank you, dear readers, for weighing in on my poll from yesterday. I’ve always thought pickiness can be good…I’m glad I’m not alone in that sentiment!

Fa la la la la

Today, dear readers, I truly dived right into the holiday spirit. In addition to the holiday decor I already bought last weekend, I am now also the proud owner of a 7 1/2 foot tall artificial tree with white lights. My parents even sent me all my childhood Christmas ornaments, since they don’t use them anymore. It looks quite lovely, if I do say so myself. Even Noodles doesn’t mind it, after an initial freak-out when I lugged in the giant box — though I am a bit concerned since he seems to like to chew on the ends of the branches. And who knows what he does when I’m not here?

On a side note, I momentarily contemplated taking a photo of Noodles and me, perhaps in Santa hats, to send out as holiday cards this year. On the one hand, that is a definite entry into serious crazy cat lady territory. On the other hand, anyone who I’m going to be sending a personal holiday card to already knows about my CCL tendencies, so does it really matter? Maybe it’d be funny….?

Today I also got a lot of my Christmas shopping out of the way. Don’t get me wrong. I love shopping for other people. The problem is that it’s often hard for me to come up with the perfect gift — especially if I wait until 2 weeks before Christmas, as is usually the case. The other problem is that I see tons of stuff that I want for myself! (I showed enormous restraint today and did not purchase anything for me!) Things on my wish list include: sweater dress to wear with my new boots (I saw some gorgeous cashmere ones today at Bebe, but they were way too pricey); spa products at Blue Mercury; an electric skillet; anything and everything at Williams Sonoma; Scrabble board game…the list goes on. Of course, these are all things I can buy for myself, but for the next couple of weeks, me-shopping is off limits! After Christmas I can either buy the things myself or drop hints to my friends for my B-day (in January). Anyway, for today I found some good gifts and I didn’t spend way too much, as I am known to do when shopping under pressure, so it was a successful day.

This coming Friday is my firm’s holiday party, and it will be my 4th year attending it. The party is held at a beautiful hotel, and it’s really a lovely event. It’s the one time in the year that everyone — attorneys, staff, signifcant others — come together and celebrate. They announce who made partner and recognize people who have been at the firm for 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, etc. Everyone is always in good spirits and looking fantastic. I have a cute strapless black dress and new shoes to wear, so I’m all set. The one thing I hope will feel ok is not having a date. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I am one of only a handful of single people in my entire firm. The first two years I went to the party, I was with my ex-fiance; last year A. and I were dating clandestinely, so we were both there but not officially “together,” though we sat together at dinner. So this is my first year going truly solo. But I expect it’ll be fun as always — I find that I do well when I can do my own thing and not have to try to entertain someody else, especially with work people, who I love, so I think it’ll be a good time.

I’m feeling so holiday-ish, I wish I didn’t have 2 1/2 more weeks to wait! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, dear readers!

Little Miss Law in Training?

First of all, dear readers, let me comment on how many hits I received in the past day on my post about Jane Austen! I must say, I expected to get more comments in the vein of “What are you talking about? You’re not a spinster!” and I am very pleasantly surprised to find that nobody went in that direction, since that wasn’t the point of my post. (My mom did, however, email me with this excellent point: “Spinsters are pretty lucky these days because they have the internet……” Very true.)

Also, I find that my blog readers appear to be quite literary, seeing as how this post drew more attention and commentary than many of my more seemingly juicy posts about dating.

Anyway, one of my favorite things about the blogosphere is finding other kindred spirits out there, whose blogs reflect the same things I think about, worry about, dream about. I have found several — they’re the people who often comment on my blog (along with my “real life” friends) and whose blogs I read daily. It’s funny because even though I haven’t met these people and don’t even know their real names in most cases, I find myself routinely checking to see what’s going on in the worlds of Karalina, Jem1896, etc. When they write cliffhanger posts about a fight with a boyfriend or a worry about work, I find myself becoming anxious, waiting for the resolution.

Then a couple of days ago I got a comment from this blogger, a law student who is brand new to the blogosphere. The first post I read of hers was about the incestous and ill-advised nature of law school dating — totally spot-on, based on my one dating experience in law school. Then today I surfed onto her blog again and was astounded to find just how kindred of a spirit this girl is — first, writing about an unpleasant conversation where a non-lawyer tells her how bad law school is as a place to meet people, she says, “He continued on for awhile and by the end of the conversation, I had decided that I might as well buy a few more cats.” (As my readers may know, I have occasionally contemplated getting Noodles a sibling, but have never taken the leap because I determined that more than 1 cat per bedroom or per person may be pushing it.) Then, her post goes on to mention spinsterhood.

Ok, maybe this isn’t the world’s biggest coincidence. Cats and spinsters tend to be discussed together. Still, my friends, this is a girl after my own heart. And soon to be a lawyer, no less. I think I’ll keep reading!

“My Cats Are My Babies.”

It’s the end of another long and hectic week, dear readers, and I am very glad for it. Tomorrow my friend M. arrives for a visit — from New Mexico to Los Angeles for the first leg of her West Coast goodbye tour, and then on to her new home in England. M. and I have been friends since we were 7, and there is something so amazing about having someone in my life who has known me for two decades, and who I can pick back up with like we never left off every time we see each other, even though for the past decade we haven’t lived in the same city. She’s visited me in LA before, but never in my current apartment and not since I’ve been single, so I’m looking forward to some good quality time.

So yesterday I discovered that indeed, there can be too much of a good thing. You would think that being the cat-owning, cat-loving, aspiring crazy cat lady that I am, I would want to meet a cat-loving guy. After dating a guy who was deathly allergic to cats, and then a guy who didn’t mind cats (but since Noodles’ vicious attacks on me began when we started dating and ended when we broke up, I suspect Noodles had it in for him/us), I vowed that my next boyfriend would have to live in peaceful harmony with Noodles. “Love me, love my cat.”

Upon further reflection, though, I decided that “Love me, like/tolerate my cat” might be a better motto. Yesterday, while out with J., I ended up chatting with a group of people and the topic of relationship dealbreakers came up. One guy mentioned that a dealbreaker for him would be a girl who doesn’t like cats. Naturally, my ears perked up. I didn’t find him attractive, but I found it inspiring that a guy could actually like cats. Then he uttered the least-hot phrase I have ever heard: “My cats are my babies.”

Whoa there, tiger. That’s just a whole new level.

And it got even worse. He shared that his cats’ names were Antigone and Oedipus — “Tiggie” and “Eddie” for short. He also mentioned that he had paid $4000 in vet bills for one of the cats.

Now, I know it’s stereotypical, but in my view it’s perfectly normal for a guy to be really into dogs. A guy who loves his dogs is all at once cute, endearing, masculine and sensitive. It’s like the man’s man way to show he can be emotional and have a soft spot for something. Did anyone not cry when reading Marley and Me? (I read the screenplay, not the book, but I assume the book is equally tear-jerking.)

Also, a coupled man who has cat(s) with his girlfriend or wife is perfectly acceptable.

A single man who looooooovvvves cats, on the other hand? Maybe it’s just me, dear readers, but (don’t tell Noodles I said so) I just find it to be creepy.

Speaking of Noodles, he is sleeping peacefully and I should be doing the same…

Have a fabulous weekend!

“Nope, It’s Just Me and My Cat.”

It’s been a long Monday, but a good one. Still, I am happy to be home, in comfy clothes, Sex & the City on in the background (no, there’s no such thing as watching it too much), with Noodles on his new-favorite perch in front of the balcony, and blogging. Mmm.

Today I met with the in-house counsel for one of my firm’s big corporate clients, down at her hotel by the airport. She’s been traveling around like crazy and we haven’t had much time to talk about all the deadlines coming up or about case strategy in general, so it was good to sit face to face with her and discuss everything. Even better, it was a great chance for us to bond. I met her for the first time a few weeks ago at the client’s corporate headquarters, but since we were in the office, we had no chance to just chat. Tonight we were both a lot more relaxed and while we mostly stuck to business, we laughed a lot. She also gave me a huge compliment – she said that even though I’m a young associate, that she told my boss I’m “fabulous.” That was a nice boost after the way I felt about my job last week.

Then, we bonded over a very unlikely topic — our cats. She looked at her watch and commented, “Oh, I don’t want to keep you! Do you have kids?” “Nope,” I replied, “It’s just me and my cat.”

(Ironically — this was unplanned — I just came to the part in this Sex & the City episode where Miranda moves into her own condo and finds out that the woman who lived there before her died and the cat ate her face.)

Anyway, the client laughed and said, “Oh, you’re a young associate, they don’t give you time for anything but a cat!” She told me that she has two dogs and two cats, and can’t seem to stop adopting pets. Then, I was even able to give her advice that is probably far more sage than any legal advice I can dispense at this stage in my career: how to make your cat stop biting you.

This, dear readers, is why they pay me the big bucks.

See, I Could be Worse: Part II

Yes, I have a cat that I adore.  Yes, my parents refer to him as their “grandchild.”  Yes, I have toyed with the idea of purchasing a pet stroller.  Yes, my cat occasionally sleeps with me.

 But still, I’m nowhere near being the crazy cat lady that this woman is.  I can take comfort in that.

Can I just share with you how happy I am that it’s the weekend, dear readers?  After my workload settled down I have found myself utterly lacking in motivation at work — partly feeling like I deserved a break, partly having a hard time kicking it back into high gear when I don’t have imminent deadlines.  That will change next week, for better or for worse. 

But for now, this weekend is absolutely, gloriously devoid of any work or obligations.  (I might come in on Sunday briefly to clean up my office, but that is more to save my own sanity.)  Instead, I just have fun plans: shopping (need to buy a dress to wear to a wedding next month), brunch, and movies (The Heartbreak Kid tonight; Across the Universe, which I have been DYING to see, on Sunday, and perhaps even an indie flick tomorrow.  I have some catching up to do!).  And of course, sleeping in and getting some quality time with Noodles.  I can’t wait!

 Have a fabulous weekend, everyone!

So much for domestic bliss . . .

So last night I wrote a blog all about how tranquil my life with Noodles has been of late.  I then went to bed, taking Noodles with me.  He’s normally a good bed companion because he stays on his side of the bed and actually bothers me less when he sleeps with me than when he doesn’t.  We both fell into a lovely tranquil sleep.

 I was then awoken in the middle of the night by a hacking sound.  I turned on the light only to find that poor Noodles had yakked a big hairball right on my favorite fuzzy blanket and sheets.  GROSS.  Disgusted, I leapt out of bed (still half asleep) to clean it up, remove the blanket and change the sheets.  Noodles, who appeared to be feeling a lot better after getting the hairball out of his system, just sat confusedly on the bed, squinting his eyes in the bright light as if to say, “Why are you making me move?  I was sleeping!” 

 Once I had fresh linens on the bed and had decided that Noodles wasn’t going to be sick again, I fell back asleep, only to have an extremely stressful dream.  In the dream, I was supposed to be doing an oral argument in federal court.  The courthouse was supposedly on this huge sprawling college campus and I wandered around trying to find it.  I was with an odd group of friends from high school and beyond.  The oral argument was beginning in 10 minutes.  I then realized that not only was I running late, but 1) I was wearing jeans; and 2) I was totally unprepared to argue.  I borrowed a black skirt and top from a friend, and I rushed into the courtroom just as the first case was being called.  It was then that I realized that not one, not two, but three of the partners for my firm were there to watch me.  I was terrified.

 I was only saved from this stress by Noodles beginning to meow his head off from the hallway.  Assuming that he was trying to alert me that he was sick again, I leapt out of bed even though it was only 5 am.  Noodles seemed fine and there were no hairballs lying around that I could see.  I fed him and then tried to bring him into bed with me again (sometimes he just wants the attention).  But instead of settling down and letting me pet him, he jumped down, went into the hall and started meowing his head off again.

And you wonder why I question whether I want to have children.

 Needless to say, I am now at work feeling quite groggy after last night’s debacles.   I swear I’ll start working…right after this blog zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

Little Miss Law Takes a Breath

There’s nothing quite like going from being hideously, all-consumingly, mind-numbingly busy at work to finally catching a breath and having some free time. After 2 straight weeks of intense hours and stress, things have finally calmed down and it feels just miraculous. Tonight I came home, put on my PJs, cooked some ravioli, watched some mindless TV (“You are still in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model!”) and talked on the phone. When I am busy, I tend to be very bad at keeping in touch (unless you are on Gmail chat – ha ha) so it feels very very nice to be able to reconnect with my friends.

So how are things looking in the world of Little Miss Law now that the dust has settled? Quite nice, actually. My parents came down to visit this past weekend and we had a really enjoyable time, laying by their hotel pool, putting my 42′ TV to use, and strolling around on the Santa Monica Pier. And of course, lots of eating. It’s always hard to cram our time together into just a couple of days, and I know that we would all prefer to live in the same city so that we could just have lunch or dinner together on a regular basis. But for now, it is what it is: email, phone calls and occasional visits. And I am thankful that we have remained so close despite the distance.

I also realize that I haven’t written anything recently about my furry life partner, Noodles. For the past few months, we have been getting along swimmingly and living in domestic bliss. This weekend, with my parents in town, he got a special treat. A couple of months ago, I mentioned to my mom that she and Dad shouldn’t be too disappointed if Noodles winds up being their only “grandchild.” Well, my parents took this comment quite seriously and spent a good deal of time in my apartment, brushing Noodles and generally doting on him, much to his great pleasure. Then they informed me that, loving “grandparents” that they are, they wanted to take me to Petco to buy a toy for their furry grandson. We went and picked out the perfect little structure – not too big, but tall enough for Noodles to sit on and look out the sliding door at the Hollywood Hills. Sure enough, he is sitting on it and admiring the view of the Hills as we speak.

(Yes, I do realize that this adds another giant mark to the “crazy cat lady” tally. So sue me.)

Yesterday, much to my amusement, I got an email from A., who apparently has now designated me as his social coordinator for him to hang out with my co workers (his former co workers). His email said, “Interested in setting up a drinks this week? I want to see people.” Anyway, I am an awesome social coordinator when I have the time to be, and so I already rallied a good group of people. My co workers are some of my favorite people, but it’s often hard to motvate people to all get together, so I’m happy whenever we do. It’s also just so nice to be back in touch with A. He and I were such good friends before we ever dated, and he was my 2nd best confidant at work. During the few months that he and I weren’t talking, I often had stories about work etc. that I wanted to tell him but I couldn’t contact him. Now that we are back in touch, even though we only talk every few weeks, I feel like that very particular friend-space he occupied in my life has been filled again, and I like that.

I have a lot more I can write about, since I have been delinquent in my blogging, but for now, dear readers, it’s bedtime . . .