Tying the Knot

Hello dear readers!  I know that after making a brief comeback, I have been radio silent again for a few months.  I was second chairing a jury trial which even though we lost (boooo!) was a great experience career wise, but was also a total killer for my social life.  But now it is done (pending maybe an appeal) and I can focus on other things like…drumroll please…my upcoming wedding!

In just 24 days (so says theknot.com), Mr. Law and I will be tying the knot!  (Does this mean that I need to change the title of this blog to Mrs. Law?  Hmmm…)  I have officially now fallen down the wedding planning rabbit hole and am spending countless hours on tasks such as writing my vows (still a work in progress, suggestions from vow-writing veterans welcomed!),  purchasing cute wedding-related things on Etsy (LOVE that site), shopping for a rehearsal dinner dress, tallying RSVPs, meeting with our vendors, etc.  I did have a brief moment in the last week of trial where I cursed myself for not having hired a wedding planner, but now we are back in good shape and I’m actually having a lot of fun with things. Weddings are such happy events — I have loved attending / being in my friends’ weddings and I can’t wait to be in my own.  🙂

Still, the most common question people have been asking me is “are you nervous?”  I think it’s sort of a funny question, and I can never tell whether they’re asking if I’m worried about getting married, or if I’m anxious about putting together a party for 140+  guests.   In any event, the answer is that I’m not at all nervous about getting married, and that the details of the event can be slightly overwhelming at times, but that I know it’ll all work out.  My goal in this process has been to be the anti-Bridezilla, and so my take is that I only have two goals: 1) to marry Mr. Law and 2) to have a great time with our nearest and dearest.  If we accomplish that it is a success!

To that end, even though in the final weeks it is tempting to start splurging and adding on all sorts of extras, Mr. Law and I decided early on that the only things our guests would really need are a nice meal, open bar, and good music.  Then we also wanted nice flowers and a great photographer.  We’ve got all that covered.  And most importantly of all I am marrying the love of my life and I CAN’T WAIT.

All Growns Up, Part II

A few weeks ago, my dear friend T. (who just had her first baby who I am dying to meet!) reminded me about a post that I wrote about 3 1/2 years ago, back when Little Miss Law was just starting out. The title of the post was Babies R Not Me, and I’m sure you can imagine the subject of the post. At that time, none of my close girlfriends had babies or were trying to have babies just yet and I was still riding the wedding wave. Now, many of my close friends and co-workers have at least one child. Pregnancy, birth and babies are a frequent subject of lunch or dinner conversation with my friends. And now that I’m getting married in July, the topic of having kids has turned from “I’ll worry about that someday” to a subject that’s on my mind an awful lot.

In certain ways, I’m much more of a baby person now that I was when I wrote that post. It’s been so fun to watch my friends have kids and I love playing Auntie. Mr. Law has a niece and nephew back East and I can’t wait to officially be their aunt. I can easily imagine having kids with Mr. Law (and I admit that we’ve even discussed names we like). But where before my concerns about kids were abstract, now they have become more concrete and more worrisome.

One thing I worry about a lot is losing myself in having kids. I know (or at least, I’m told by many people including my own mom) that being a parent is one of the most extraordinary things a person can experience. On the one hand, I do want to experience that and all that comes with it. But I do know that it can be an all-consuming thing and I have noticed that it (rightfully so) becomes the number one focus of the lives of my friends with kids. But for me, I still don’t have that deep biological urge of “OMG I need a baby RIGHT NOW” and I don’t know if I’m ready to make that the focus of my life to the exclusion or minimization of all else. Mr. Law and I aren’t even married yet, and after we get married it might be nice to spend some time as newlyweds before we decide to take that leap.

Also, as much as I am conflicted about my career and where it’s heading, it has been my biggest focus (for better or worse) since graduating law school and it’s hard to think about changing that. The issue of children is one of the things that is making me question my career — it’s all fine and well to work long days and weekends when Mr. Law and I are childless and we can come home and have a late dinner together, but I don’t know how this will work if we have a family. I know I will want a more flexible schedule and I won’t want to miss all the “firsts.” On the other hand, I have the sense that people who go part-time at my firm are somewhat relegated, at least in the higher-ups’ minds, to the “mommy track.” That bothers me to no end after having dedicated so much time to my education and work life. I also worry that I will be distracted by home life at work, and by work life at home. It’s such a balancing act and I don’t know how to make it work. Mr. Law responds, “Everyone else makes it work, and so will we.” But I know a lot of unhappy lawyers and a lot of women who have left work to stay home full time (which financially is not an option for us), so I’m not so sure.

Sometimes I feel like it is a disadvantage to have waited till I am older and (ha) wiser to get married and have kids because while there is something to be said for analyzing and assessing my options, there is also something to be said for jumping in headfirst and figuring it out as you go along (instead of just dipping my toe in and deciding it’s too cold). Sometimes I think that all my worrying will just paralyze me and I need to just set it aside and think, que sera sera.

Easier said than done…

Back to the drawing board

This is how my morning started out. I had no sooner plopped myself in my desk chair at 8:45 am when the phone rang. It was a partner in my office with whom I have a good working relationship. He can be quite grumpy, but I seem to have endeared myself to him. He sort of reminds me of my grandpa.

He called me down to his office to talk about the brief I’ve been slaving over for him. Something in the tone of his voice made me realize that he was less than thrilled. And indeed, as soon as I stepped into his office he began, “You know I don’t mince words.” Oh, crap. Then he blurted it out: “I don’t like it. It needs a lot of work. I think you just need to go back to the drawing board. You need to rewrite it.” Words that I most dread hearing.

He then tried to make me feel better by 1) telling me a “war story” about a partner who used to criticize everything he did when he was a junior associate to the point that he dreaded coming to work in the morning and 2) telling me that I was “doing great.”

The real good news was, though, that as we started to go through the brief it became apparent that I wouldn’t need to go back to the drawing board — most of what he wanted was already there, it just needed to be retooled and re-framed. I breathed a big internal sigh of relief. It also occurred to me that I think I have a lot thicker skin than I used to. When I was younger I would cry at the drop of a hat and it was very hard for me to take criticism. But today, the criticism didn’t bother me because I knew it was coming from a good place, and that it will help me be a better lawyer. (If he were a screamer, that would be another story entirely).

At any rate, I am looking forward to 5 straight days of NO WORK. I’m flying up to Oregon to be with my family for the holidays and this time, unlike over Thanksgiving, I am bringing NO WORK with me!! I will be busy next week, but until then, it can wait. I need the R&R.

Another interesting thing this week. I wrote a few months ago about seeing A. for the first time since we broke up, and since then we have hung out several times and are buddies again. (In fact, he called me tonight and wants my advice, so we are having lunch next week.) That first time I saw him again, I expected it to be so hard, but instead I just had the feeling of “Huh – I used to really be into this guy.”

Well, I had that same experience this week with the guy I dated a few months back. He stopped by to drop off some of my things, and I was sort of dreading it. We have been emailing casually, but he had still been in my head more than I wanted to admit. I think when I’m not dating somebody, the tendency is to want to reminisce about the most recent person I dated. Anyway, he came by, and instead of feeling sad or wistful or flustered, I just got that same feeling of “Huh.” It was as if a switch went off and I was suddenly 100% over it — I still feel friendly towards him but that’s all.

And that is this week’s reminder that things really do fall into place just as they should, dear readers.

Noodles and I are off to bed … one more day of work and then leaving on a jet plane! I may blog while I’m in Oregon if the mood strikes…

The Eleventh Wheel

Another weekend is coming to an end, dear readers, and I thought I’d wrap it all up with a blog. Overall it was a pretty mellow weekend. I had to work part of the day yesterday and for a couple of hours today, but other than that I enjoyed the 4th annual cookie party with my former roommates, catching up on Netflix (Waitress and Superbad), reading (I am halfway through Saving Fish from Drowning) and, of course, my firm’s holiday party.

The holiday party was very nice–beautiful location, nice cocktail hour and appetizers, a meal, dancing. I love my co-workers, and the speeches were good (in particular one partner who had the crowd roaring with laughter – I literally had tears streaming down my face, I was laughing so hard). But still, I admit I didn’t exactly have fun. And I hate to say this, because I don’t want to be “that” whiny single person, but, well…frankly, it sort of sucks being a single in a sea of couples. For part of the night I was able to ignore the fact and even enjoy being a solo agent. During cocktail hour I wandered around and chatted with people, and felt sort of relieved to just be able to do my own thing. One funny thing about the night was that I was driving, so I only had 1/2 a glass of wine over the course of the whole night. My co-workers, on the other hand…not so much. Even my boss, when I was chatting with him toward the end of the night, was noticeably slurring his speech. People were getting very confessional with me, and I was just sort of nodding and humoring them.

Anyway, when my singleness became really noticeable was when we moved into the ballroom for the sit-down portion of the evening. There was no assigned seating, so people started grabbing up spots. Each table had 10 seats at it. Some of the girls I really like in my department encouraged me to come sit with them…but there were 10 seats, 5 couples already sitting there. One of my co-workers’ boyfriends went and stole a chair from another table so I could join them. This, of course, meant that I ended up stealing someone else’s napkin and fork, too. And at one point as I was eating my bloody prime rib and I looked around at everyone whispering conversation with ther spouse or boyfriend, I thought, Dear God, I’m the ELEVENTH WHEEL! (Actually, in the party as a whole I was probably the hundred-and-eleventh wheel, but who’s counting?)

After dinner I was literally dragged up on the dance floor by the arm, by my friend’s fiance. I danced while it was a group, but after a while, nobody was dancing in groups, just in couples, and I found myself weaving around on the dance floor among all the oblivious couples. If it had been a movie, everything would have been slow motion and there certainly would have been some sad song playing in the background. Soon afterward, I decided to leave, over the protests of my (tipsy) co-workers. One of my friends actually came running after me and was like, “Stay! You can drink, we can take a cab back later!” I begged off — it was sweet of her, but I was tired and done with the evening. I think maybe she was worried about me, and it would have taken too much effort to explain, “This isn’t fun, but it’s not the end of the world — I’d just rather be home in my PJs right now.”

I was talking to my college friend K. on the phone today — she is recently single after a long time on-again-off-again relationship with a guy who, in my opinion, sounded like no good. K. is one of the most spirited and outgoing, fun-loving people I know, so I think she’s a good single role model. I was talking to her about the fact that I love my girlfriends, but that most of them are married or pseudo-married and therefore not often available for or interested in girls’ nights or girls’ vacations. On Saturday night, after working a good chunk of the day, I felt like I wanted to go out. But I knew that my friends would be otherwise occupied with their men, so I opted for Netflix. To give a larger-scale example, I love to travel and would love to plan some little trips out of town, or bigger trips. But I can’t get anyone to go with me, either because they are saving time/money to travel with their BFs/spouses, or are saving money in general. Sometimes I feel like, what’s the use in working hard and making money if I don’t get to do the things I want to do? I was thinking about just saying screw it and taking a solo weekend trip in January, but I know myself and I’d probably just end up feeling sad and annoyed that I spent money to be in a different city alone – I can do that here!

Anyway, K. told me that when she was single a while ago, she started affirmatively trying to meet other single girls when she went out. I think maybe cultivating some new friendships would be a good thing for me…but then again, if I’m too busy at work to go out and meet new men, how am I going to meet new women? I guess it would be an interesting experiment to see which would be easier – finding a new guy, or finding a new girlfriend? Hmmm.

K. also told me something last time we talked that I really identify with. She said that she would be more fine with being single if she knew that she would eventually meet the right person. She wouldn’t need to know how or when – but just that she would meet him at some point. That’s sort of how I feel now. It’s not that being on my own is that bad day to day. But what bothers me is thinking that this could be how it is…indefinitely. I can bear being a little lonely now. I don’t know if I can bear this being the norm. I guess it’s all about attitude. Maybe I just need to buck up.

At any rate, dear readers, I hadn’t intended to write such a whiny post tonight! More sunny things next time, I swear…

We have changed but we’re still the same

Today, dear readers, I got an email from my ex-fiance for the first time in about 6 months. Last time we emailed it was because I was thinking about getting rid of Noodles after his vicious attacks. (Now, as Noodles sits on the couch next to me, purring sweetly, I think how sad it’d be if I had given up on him!) Anyway, since it had been so long without communication, the email came as a surprise.

It was a very sweet email…basically saying “Happy Holidays” and asking how things have been. At the end he wrote, “i know i have been a little distant and that is totally my fault, sorry. i just need some time to clear the head, and get my life in order.” I totally understand that sentiment, and it’s precisely why I was letting things breathe and not reaching out to him via email anymore. After I suggested that we meet for coffee and he said it was too soon, I realized – duh! – that it really was too soon. Then when the last guy I dated broke up with me, and I had such a hard time when he would email me because I would have false hope, I realized that I wasn’t doing my ex any favors by emailing him. If anything, I was probably just making it worse. I decided that I would just stop, and that when he felt ready he could contact me again.

And now he has. It’s strange because on the one hand I thought of a million things I could tell him. We dated for 3 years, so he knows all my friends and family, and so I have over a year’s worth of stories and engagements and gossip that I could share with him. But I know that sharing all those things with him, when he’s not really part of my world or my circle anymore (aside from a couple of my friends he has stayed friends with) would also be bittersweet. I certainly feel that way sometimes…our mutual friend let it slip a few weeks ago that my ex’s younger brother got engaged, and my stomach sank; partly because I loved his family and sometimes I miss being part of that, and partly because I can just imagine how it feels for my ex to be watching his brother on the verge of getting married.

So on the one hand, I really like that we’re back in contact. On the other hand, I don’t know if we’ll ever get past this superficial chit-chat and really be friends. I suppose only time will tell. As I was writing my reply email to him, the song “Cool” by Gwen Stefani came on. “And it’s such a miracle that you and me are still good friends/ After all that we’ve been through/ I know we’re cool…”

I love that song because it’s so full of hope and possibility: you can think that you’ll never get over someone, but eventually you’ll both meet someone new, and it’ll all be “cool”. (I also love the video.)

I do believe that people can be friends with their exes, in some instances. But with a broken engagement, it seems impossible. We went from having decided to spend the rest of our lives together, to not even being in each others’ lives. Can there be a happy medium? How could we ever look at each others’ significant other and not think, “That should have been me?”

**************************
Gwen Stefani – “Cool”

It’s hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life
Passes things, get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It’s good to see you now with someone else
And it’s such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we’ve been through
I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown, oh
We have changed but we’re still the same
After all that we’ve been through
I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

Yeah, I know we’re cool

And I’ll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles
And now we’re hanging out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we’ve been
I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

C-cool, I know we’re cool
I know we’re cool

Dealbreakers

So I have been writing a lot about my dating life lately…such as it is. I’ve been pondering recently what things are reasonable criteria by which to eliminate potential suitors, and which are things that I could afford to relax about. So far these are the “dealbreakers” I look for when reviewing an online profile (in no particular order):

1. Bad grammar (the worst is mixing up your and you’re — the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up just thinking of it!)
2. Shorter than my height (5’9″) — hey, I like to wear heels

*** Note: In another post I commented that “most people I weed out without any response because something about their profile doesn’t quite fit me: they are uber-religious, they have bad grammar, they are shorter than me, their favorite thing to do on a weekend is skydiving, etc.” One of my loyal readers sent me this email: “you mean, they are shorter than I. I would have let it pass, but it came right after you said that men with bad grammar suck.” Perhaps I should get off my grammar high horse then! Anyway…

3. Politically conservative and/or very religious (since I am pretty much a bleeding heart liberal agnostic).
4. Allergic to cats – Noodles has been loyal to me for 2 years, which is more than I can say for any guy I’ve dated except my ex-fiance
5. Overuse of “lol”. This just seems so unnecessary out of the online-chat context, esp. in a dating profile (e.g. “I’m looking for a tall supermodel lol”). Wtf?
6. Hobbies are all things like skydiving. mountain biking etc. Nothing wrong with those things, but I’m way too weak sauce.
7. Emphasizes in the profile how into “fitness” he is. Again, that is a fabulous thing to be into, and more power to you. But I love to eat and I hate to work out. I don’t want someone to judge me for it!
8. Is unattractive. Are looks everything? Of course not. But if I’m surfing through pictures, I don’t care how fantastic your personality is, I won’t be excited to meet you unless you’re cute.

And the list goes on. So I can see how someone might read that and say I am too picky. My mom sent me an email last week about a blog she reads called Charming but Single. Charming had written a tongue-in-cheek post about how she wanted her next BF to have season football tickets. To that, she got the following response:

“I think your applicant pool is a lot of the problem here. The guys you meet seem to get what they want and move on. Then they like to drop back in on you (and you let them) and give you a complex thinking it was all just some misunderstanding because you didn’t show them you wanted a relationship. I’m not sure if they’re feeding you a line or if they assumed you were still in the fun stage because you met them in a bar. That’s not judgement it just seems men don’t think women they meet in bars are there to find a husband especially in our neck of the woods. I also think you might need to stop putting so much emphasis on appearances. It would never occur to me ever to list specific physical characteristics in my criteria for finding a life partner. When I was ready to settle down the biggest criteria for me was that he was at that stage as well and that he was smart. So with that in mind it might be time to start considering some of those cousins of your friends who have “great personalities.” They might not be Adonis but they are often gainfully employed, good fatherhood material and looking to settle down.”

My mom asked me what I thought about this. My first thought was, “Well, if that girl wants to have an unattractive husband, that’s her prerogative.”

Seriously, though, what is the difference between what she describes and, well, settling? In my opinion, if there’s anything a girl should be picky about, it’s the person she chooses to spend the rest of her life with. I mean, we’re not talking about a pair of shoes here.

Then again, is there a whole pool of guys I am needlessly eliminating from consideration? Or am I just saving myself heartache down the road?

Be honest, dear readers — am I being too picky?

Sweetheart, bitterheart, now I can tell you apart

Does anyone not love that song by Feist? I just can’t get it out of my head!

The thing is, contrary to that line in the song, I don’t seem to be able to tell the good guys from the flakes or players. I have now been on dates with two different guys from this one dating website, and the same thing happened both times…seemingly nice date, then radio silence. Somehow the soundtrack to my dating life has become the sound of tumbleweeds rolling past. How did this happen?

What’s distressing about this situation isn’t so much the blow-offs themselves. That happens. In fact, I’ve done it myself! (Karma much?) What’s distressing is that these weren’t just random guys I picked. There are tons of guys on this dating site. I get emails fairly frequently. And most people I weed out without any response because something about their profile doesn’t quite fit me: they are uber-religious, they have bad grammar, they are shorter than me, their favorite thing to do on a weekend is skydiving, etc. Then there are the people who I email with a bit but lose interest in. So the ones who I actually communicate with long enough to meet in person have proven themselves to meet all my basic criteria and be witty and engaging. With both of these guys, we had great conversations before the date (both on the phone and in email), and pleasant dates.

Now, I know I’m being hypocritical and that I wasn’t exactly a smitten kitten recently either (at least beyond the email phase). I’ve been experiencing doubts about whether I even want to be dating or in a relationship. But still, I would think that after 2 dates, I’d get something more than ……

At least an email saying, “I just didn’t feel the chemistry was there.” Fine. Done. But for me to email someone and just get silence is infuriating because it says, “You don’t even matter enough to make me want to be polite.”

And even though I know it’s not true, there is that needling thought of, What if it’s me?

Anyway, dear readers, onward and upward….and maybe soon, offline. I don’t know how much more online dating I can stand!

***********
Feist – “1234”

One Two Three Four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights
That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing but they want some more

Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, You know who you are

Sweetheart bitterheart now I can tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can’t buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can’t buy you back the love that you had then

Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are
Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are
Oh, who you are

For the teenage boys
They’re breaking your heart
For the teenage boys
They’re breaking your heart

I don’t wanna dream about the things that I used to need…

Hello, dear readers, and I hope you had a fantastic weekend. Mine felt sort of abbreviated because I got roped into spending all day Saturday in the office, but I made up for it today by taking a big nap, doing laundry, and doing some major grocery shopping. (I got to cook a big meal tonight for the first time in forever, and my friend J. came over — always more fun cooking for other people.) Best of all, I also got into the spirit of the season and bought some fun and festive Christmas decorations, including star string lights, a poinsettia, and a small “ornament tree.” I was thinking about getting a big artificial tree (I am sort of allergic to real trees and I think Noodles would wreak havoc anyway), but I haven’t decided. I don’t have too much extra storage space, so I’m not sure where the artificial tree would live the other 11 months of the year. Now, I just need to get started on my Christmas shopping…eek!

So last night I had date # 2 with the guy I mentioned a few posts ago who writes the witty emails. We went out to a yummy dinner, had good conversations and even shared creme brulee, my favorite. To finish the night off, we went to a nearby comedy club–my face hurt from laughing at the end of the night.

I came inside from the date feeling good. But this feeling was soon replaced by something else. Dating, going out, having fun is one thing. Actually getting into a relationship is another thing. Now, we obviously aren’t there or even close at this point. But if things continue like this, it seems we could be. And that, dear readers, scares me to death. My recent relationships and dating experiences have simply made me incapable of getting excited the way I used to. Before, I would let myself get so bright eyed and bushy tailed about everything. Now, I can’t help but think, Any new guy I like is just likely to be the next guy to break my heart. Is it worth it to keep trying over and over again?

Being single, truly single, and not going out on dates, things feel relatively easy. I have my rhythm, I do my own thing, I focus on work and plans and friends and family. I look around at people in couples, and I feel sort of detached and neutral — I’m happy they’re happy, but I’m not anxious to be there.

But I find that when I start putting myself out there, when I start inching towards the possibility of becoming involved with someone, it suddenly shines a big bright light on my singleness and it just makes me feel more lonely. I start thinking how much I really do want to meet someone, and how much I don’t want to want that. Because it’s something over which I have no control, and something I can’t force. Because who knows if and when I’ll ever meet someone I really want to get serious with. Because who knows if I meet that person if they will want to be with me or not.

Far easier just to step back and curl up in my little ball. But what kind of way is that to be?

Isn’t it Ironic

Two blog posts in one night? I guess tonight I am really enjoying the sound of my own “voice.”

So you, dear readers, know all about the erstwhile mancation. And you know that it was pretty much the worst mancation ever. While waxing poetic about taking time off from dating and time for myself and blah blah blah, what was I really doing? You got it – thinking about guys and wishing I were dating. I knew that I couldn’t jump into another relationship so soon after three back-to-back-to-back relationships (as the bad texter corrected me when I just said “back to back”) but this big strong part of me really wanted to just get into a relationship as soon as possible to keep from doing the scary work of looking at myself and taking care of myself. I guess you could say I went through relationship withdrawal. Like any addiction, it was mighty hard to give up. My single self was pretty deeply buried under my relationship self.

And, as you know, I ended the mancation a couple of weeks ago and have gone on a couple of dates. The most recent guy is the fabulous emailer who I met for drinks a week and a half ago. We had a fun time, laughed a lot, and are making plans to go out again.

But…….

I just don’t feel that excited about it. And you know what? I sincerely think it has nothing to do with him. He was funny and cute in email, funny and cute in person. There’s no real reason not to be optimistic.

But the bottom line is, I think maybe I just don’t want to date right now! Yes, you heard me — after struggling through a few months of forced and half-assed mancation, I am finally in a place where I feel so content on my own that I am hestitant to rock the boat. My life has (work aside) become incredibly tranquil. I don’t have the drama and stress that plagued my recent relationships. I spend time with friends, I read, I go to sleep whenever I want and eat whatever I want and watch whatever I want to watch on TV. It’s the first time in a long time that I can be truly, completely — I guess you could call it selfish!

I’ve always been a “why not” kind of person, so I’m sure I’ll go out with this guy again and try to keep an open mind.

But frankly, in my current mindset, someone’s got to be pretty damn awesome to compete with my all time favorite guy.

That’s right….

Noodles is by far the frontrunner.

Cyber-Crushing

Is it actually possible to have a crush on someone you’ve never…well, actually met?

I posed this question to T. today in the context of the new guy I’ve been emailing with, and she reassured me that yes, if it’s acceptable to have crushes on celebrities, it is definitely OK to crush on a guy you have actually talked to (albeit only online and once on the phone). Whew. Glad I’m not completely crazy.

This guy’s passion is writing, so it’s no wonder that his emails are nothing short of excellent. Witty, cute, unpretentious, sly movie references — what’s not to like? Sending lengthy emails back and forth, though, tends to create this odd feeling, where you feel that on the one hand you know part of this person’s life story (way more so than someone you meet at, say, a bar) but on the other hand, again, you haven’t actually met them.

Anyway, after a week of emailing, I am ready to take this out of cyberspace and into the real world, and on Sunday we are meeting up for coffee. (Or, as I suggested to him in my last email, maybe we could just go eat a bunch of caramels. See, I can make sly movie references too!!) Here’s hoping that he is as fun & cute in person as he is over email & phone. When we talked on the phone, we were discussing writing and I mentioned my blog. I almost — almost! — made the lethal error of revealing my identity as Little Miss Law, but thankfully bit my tongue. Talk about him knowing my whole life story before he meets me! (Also, then I couldn’t write about him, which is just too fun.)

Noodles is snuggling up to me so close that I can’t even type anymore, which is a clear sign that he misses me and that it’s past our bedtime. Till later, dear readers, have a fantastic weekend!