As you know, dear readers, I have been (re) trying the online dating thing, with no success. I have come thisclose to just throwing up my hands and throwing in the towel.
And today, I remembered why. Two different guys emailed me, and BOTH of them emailed me the exact same thing they had emailed me a few weeks ago. One just said “You are a beautiful girl with a great profile.” Ok, that’s annoying, but I suppose cutting and pasting a one sentence email is lazy but not THAT sinister. Any girl who is going to respond to that email knows what she’s getting into.
But the other one was the real kicker. The email starts off, “Hey this is insane you actually seem like a real match, just read it, that’s why I wrote it a little long, I know its match.com but read the whole thing.” Ok, starting off with a plea like that is weird, but I keep reading out of morbid curiosity. The next FIVE (not kidding) paragraphs are all about him…as though the lengthy online profile isn’t enough. Then the email closes with, “I really really hope I can hear from you, Hey you seem like an amazing match and I think we could have some great conversations regardless. I haven’t dated yet but hey, gotta start somewhere.”
When I first received this email a month ago, I quickly deleted it because of its puppy-dog-like overeagerness. But receiving it for the SECOND time (I changed my profile picture so I guess guys think I’m an all new person who they haven’t used their charms on yet), I realized that there is one thing worse than being sincerely overeager…being insincerely overeager. Wow, I’m really glad that he thinks I’m an amazing match, just as he thought the other picture of me was an amazing match. I feel sooooo special…just like everyone else.
Moral of the story: when using these dating websites, if you are going to write someone an email, please personalize it. Even if all you say is, “Hi, I like X thing about your profile, that’s cool that you’re a lawyer,” being bland is better than being creepy.
Next!
PS. I actually wrote guy # 2 back and let him know about his faux pas. We’ll see if I get a nasty note back or if he is embarrassed (as he should be).
Little Miss Law 
And the answer is…neither! He wrote back, “Thanks for writing to me but I have just met someone and want to see how it develops.”
Um…..
First of all, my email was basically telling him he was a tool. Second of all, his email to me saying “I think you’re an amazing match” was about 6 hours ago. Is this guy for real?
how bizarre. a tool, indeed! you think his response was probably something he cut and pasted from something he sent to others? still, how do you go from hot to cold in a matter of hours?
Hahahaha. That’s kind of funny. He probably started emailing with some poor girl 2 hours earlier and it was love at first….., well, email, so he couldn’t be bothered to even read the email you sent him. He just knew he had to turn you away now that he has found his soul mate.
I get duplicate emails like that all the time. And I wrote a post like this some time ago about how the initial email should be handled. Something more than one of the icebreakers or a wink, but something less than your life history and dreams. I’ve always wanted to email guys suggestions about their profile and/or the email, but have never done it. So good for you!
I think you should give guys a break. I’ve tried sending a personalized emails before and I get exactly the same response rate that I do when I send out a well crafted, funny form message.
Generally about 10% to 20% of women respond. If they guy was going to send out a separate well thought out message to each girl, it would take hours and hours of work to get just a few girls to reply. The guys you want, the ones that have a career, money, friends, and like to keep fit don’t have that kind of time.
Just thought I’d throw the guys perspective out there.
http://blog.globaltestmarket.com/2007/11/16/fun-online-survey-is-online-dating-now-an-accepted-part-of-our-lives/
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And the really amazing part is six hours after that he met someone else who was an amazing match for him. What are the odds?